Review: Sweetgirl by Travis Mulhauser

Book and ARC reviews are posted under this feature!

Sweetgirl by Travis Mulhauser

*Digital ARC was received from HarperCollins UK through Netgalley*

Genre: Adult Fiction
Pub. Date: Feb 2, 2016

Get a copy here!
AMAZON | BOOK DEPOSITORY

It surprised me that it took me so long to write down this review when I’ve finished reading the ARC a few weeks ago and had quite interesting reaction upon finishing it.

I walked into this book thinking that it might not meet my cup of tea despite my attempt to request its ARC on the first place. But the mention of a lost baby and a girl who seems to live longer than her age pulled me to a stop… and I knew that I couldn’t skip this one.

I never considered myself as a reader who would enjoy dark and suspense read. So I was literally having a hard time reading this book at first. It didn’t help that not only this book was so intense; it also brought such disturbing topics like drugs and alcohol addiction and murders. Reading this was so out of my comfort zone but I could somehow bear it because of the characters of the aforementioned girl and baby.

Percy James was only sixteen but we could see how life had shaped her into a much older and wiser person than her years living in the world. For the nth time, Percy had to go out to find her mother who’s disappeared along with her booze addiction. It was snowing and probably going to be a bad storm soon but Percy had no other choice but to keep looking for her mom. It’s like a dead-end circle with her mom’s situation. Percy loved her mom, so deeply she could never forget the good times they used to have together when her mom was still fine. But lately things only got worse, moreover when her sister went to live her new life with their little happy family across the state, leaving Percy to take care of her alcoholic mother. Percy was a good girl; so good that she often lied to her sister that their mother was okay, that everything was as fine as a sunny weather. But it’s actually a snowstorm in Michigan; even a worse one in Percy’s household.

The first time Percy met Jenna, the baby was practically halfway to be buried by the snow blowing from the open window in Shelton Potter’s cabin. It’s like a fate. When Percy went there to find her mom (who last she checked with the neighbor, was on a drunk fight with Shelton), she found Jenna instead. The poor freezing baby seemed to alter her priority as its innocent grip brought Percy to her determination to get the baby out of the hell place. Looking at Jenna neglected in the middle of meth-house with no responsible adult to take care of her, tugged a string inside Percy’s heart. The baby was so much like her. Yet again she’s much older than Jenna when her mother had gotten to her worse condition and left her to fend for herself. Suddenly, Jenna became her priority. Even if saving Jenna meant she had the drugged-angry Shelton and his bunch of criminal friends hot on her heels. Even if saving Jenna made her fight her own beloved bad mother.

I felt so much emotion being played while reading this book. It was quite bothering that I had to see half of scenes on the book from Shelton’s perspective. Yet at the same time I was impressed by Mulhauser’s ability to write that perspective with such details. It was oddly fun and certainly dark but it was also quite heart-breaking when Shelton’s actual feeling sometimes was shown during one of his many weak moments. It surprised me that even in the end I felt a piece of my heart had gone along with Shelton’s character.

Seeing things from Percy’s perspective meanwhile was quite an experience. We could literally see her love for Jenna growing stronger. Her struggle, her hopelessness, her determination, and her faith for Jenna’s better future were all pictured in rich details for us to witness. I felt my love for Percy and Jenna grew as well. The appearance of Portis Dale as Percy’s hopeless savior just added another color to their tragically desperate yet endearing journey of escape. Portis was this skeptical figure who’s as close to a family Percy ever had in her life besides her mother and sister. I found it quite amusing how Portis kinda wanted to just leave Jenna behind because he was worried of Percy’s safety yet with Percy’s persistence (or really just stubborn) to keep Jenna, he let Percy had her way. Their banter often sounded intensely scary to others but we could hear in Portis’s harsh tone how much he cared for Percy and how much Percy needed a father figure in him. Completed with Mulhauser’s extremely detailed description of cold weather in Michigan, Sweetgirl would make you curl under your blanket in your reading couch, with heartbeat running and tears ready to flow any moment.

In the end, I had to give in with my emotion as I put aside my Kindle and hid my tears for the world to see. The tears were mixed of happy ones and sad ones but I’d like it to be a happy one because I knew that what the author decided to write in the end was for the best for all. God, even now when I re-read that last chapter I am tearing up again like a newborn baby I am. The author did write such beautifully heartwarming (with little heartbreaking-spice) ending to such a heavy read. It felt like Mulhauser did not just close the curtain after the show but also wipe the stage and cleaned the aisle from the tissues being left behind by people. It was a very neat ending; near perfect even.

I would like to recommend this book to just everyone who loves to read. Even me who prefers to read sweet, light reads than the heavy ones, Sweetgirl just made an exception for me.

‘I’m the one who found her,…. But I’m not the same person I was before. I am different now because of Jenna and Portis Dale and I believe we all tried to save each other in that storm and that mostly we did.’ ―chapter XXIII

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Review: My Kind of Crazy by Robin Reul

Book and ARC reviews are posted under this feature!

My Kind of Crazy by Robin Reul

*Digital ARC was received from Sourcebooks Fire through Netgalley*

Genre: YA (Contemporary)
Pub. Date: April 5, 2016

Get a copy here!
AMAZON| BOOK DEPOSITORY

This is the book that I’ve been looking for my whole life. Hell, I think it’s the strongest candidate of the best book I’ve read in 2016! It has this perfectly balanced combination of happy, sad, and crazy things all at once. The plot is very well-written, well-built, well-… everything! I couldn’t even explain just how happy I am that I am given the opportunity to read the ARC of this book. One thing I am disappointed at myself is the fact that I put this book on hold until a few days ago.

It didn’t take me long to engross myself into the story with unusually captivating opening. Hank Kirby, a 16 years old nerdy teen just found a supposedly-brilliant idea of asking a popular girl to prom from internet: lit prom-spelled sparklers on her lawn. And he did. Except, the plan went up in flames in seconds. Literally. With Amanda’s lawn on fire and his promposal in memory, Hank chose to run for his life as his instinct told him to. He thought he was saved that night, but surely his lucky charm was not that bright. Hank earned himself a witness when he accidentally left an evident in the place of accident. A witness who could very well ruin his life with one tell but instead, she asked for something so different. Something not much girl wanted from a guy like him: to be a friend and maybe more.

Peyton Breedlove is always that one unique girl who’s both intriguing and creepy at the same time. Or so people thought. The truth is Peyton had her own share of bad histories that had shaped herself into who she was now. Pyromaniac isn’t exactly a favorite kind of personality to most people, especially to those who don’t get where she came from. But seeing―or more accurately―witnessing Hank set her neighbor’s lawn on fire was like finding a long lost other-half. That night, Peyton knew that Hank would be the one who would understand her like no others. Except, he might not be in board with her one-sided feeling. Because after all what he did that night was to impress another girl. A normal girl who gets her things together, whose family life is perfect, and surely who doesn’t play with matches as an escape. A girl who’s not her.

“Everybody needs somebody who gets their kind of crazy, right?” ―chapter XVIII

But what is normal exactly? Hank really thought that Peyton had a serious baggage that he was sure don’t want to get involved with. Everything about her screamed enigma. Strangeness. You name it. But spending a day without seeing Peyton around felt so much like staring on a puzzle board with a piece missing. It might be just one piece, yet you can’t stop glancing at the empty space. You can’t overlook it once you notice it. And for Hank, if normal means pursuing a popular girl like most guys at school, he much preferred stepping outside the line. Peyton might love to do a lot of crazy things unlike others, but sometimes people only need to be understood rather than being judged for their actions. Peyton was no exception. And Hank might be the one who did understand her… if only there were not so much things she hid behind the curtain.

‘Everyone is hiding something though. There’s the story we tell ourselves and the story we tell everyone else’ ―chapter VII

I had soooo much fun reading this. Every emotion all mixed into one, I finished the book in one sitting. It’s been a while since I feel this so much ‘hooked’. With me being busy and all, it was so hard to be engrossed so deeply into a book nowadays. And this book came to me and broke the spell.

My Kind of Crazy is what I’d call a neat read. It has a clear plot, uniquely-made characters, enough issues to be pulled up as leading points, perfect ending, all wrapped up in a very casual yet captivating writing told from a boy’s POV. Robin did a stellar job voicing a teen, slightly nerdy, boy through Hank Kirby. I liked that little natural touch when Hank’s mind was all over the place and unfocused sometimes because that’s how guy’s mind exactly is. And I super loved that the romance was built slowly yet it felt like a very romantic journey every time with them.

And God… Peyton! She’s my best favorite character through and through! I swear, I already fell for her since the first time she was introduced into the story. I loved her bluntness, her ignorance, her unselfish bit, her cheerful and innocent beauty. Simply put, I loved everything about her.

What’s better is how much I laughed reading this book. Robin’s writing is exactly what I needed in this phase of my life when reading is such a luxury for me and she made my moment worth it with such brilliant piece. I’m seriously craving for more Robin’s writing in the future.

I recommend this book to those who’s in need of funny, special, and sweet read to enjoy in such a short time. It’s a quick read and I have no doubt you’ll want a re-run once you reach the last page.

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Book Review: My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick

My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick
Rating: /5

Get a copy here!

AMAZON | BOOK DEPOSITORY

It’s been more than a week since I finished this book yet I haven’t got any clue what I should put on my review. It’s always hard to write a review days after you read the book. I’ve been there before. Every time it happened, I’d just reread the book so I could repeat the feelings I had from reading it. Thus I could write an accurate review about it. But when the book is the one you thought you’d love but ended up disappointing? Imagine the frustration I felt when I had to sit down in front of my screen to type something about it.
This is what happened between me and My Life Next Door. Rereading it was definitely not an option since I remembered just how close I was to throw this book into the fire at some points while reading… So here I am, counting solely on my memory to jot down the reasons I abandoned this book un-reviewed for days (and also for the non-existent need to reread it).

I’ll just start from the beginning (means: here's the synopsis of the book).
My Life Next Door started with a scene of Samantha Reed along with her sister and their mom watching a new family moved in to the house next door. Sam’s mother already had a ‘bad feeling’ about the family who turned out exactly like she imagined. Very unlike hers, the Garrets were picture perfect of big, boisterous, messy family Sam’s mother loathed so much. Having a bad experience with someone from that typical family, her mother totally forbids both Sam and her sister to build any relationship with them. In which, of course, brought Sam to a much deeper level of curiosity that was leading to daily observations she’d been doing to them through her window for years. Sam watched the family like drama series she enjoyed every day. Over years, she learned which kids had which names; she even learned a glimpse of their habits from their activities at home. A family of two parents with eight kids was apparently something fascinating as Sam learned that even though the house was definitely a total mess every day, it seemed much more comfortable to live in it than in her own big house. It seemed much warmer. Much more alive.
When one day someone from the Garrets decided to cross the invisible bridge between both houses and climbed up to Sam’s make-shift observatory, she welcomed him with a mixed-feeling: anxious, in-awe, scared, and most certainly… more curiosity. The summer that was originally supposed to be boring and lonely became so much more when Sam literally ‘built’ a new life next door. Jase Garrets introduced her to the life that had been just something she was only able to see from afar. For the first time, Sam could find real companies that sincerely enjoyed her present than her own family.
Though it’s hard and felt so wrong in so many levels, Sam tried hard to put the two worlds separated. But when something happened between both families, Sam had to make a tough decision whether to crawl back to her safe zone or to stand still on the other side of the road. What should she choose, though, when the family she was born into was the one that could put a black cover over the truth and the family everyone resented was the one that made her feels truly belong?

First of all, I have to say that My Life Next Door was a little too disappointing for me. Maybe I had to put a full blame on myself since I was the one who set a really high expectation for this one, what with a very cutesy cover that seems so inviting and implying a delectable romance story inside. And more, so many people put a deep liking to this book making me even more excited. Turned out, you can’t expect too much from something without having a high risk of disappointed coming from it.

I pretty enjoyed the first half of the book. My Life Next Door really had potential and I could see it in the beginning. A story between two people from very different families colliding under the name of love was always a beautiful romance to enjoy. And the fact that this is a YA made me curious how the teenage-love in this book would be played out. Jase’s character was adorable from the start. It’s impossible to not love him. He’s just too forgiving, too kind, too much perfectness in one body, both inside out. While Sam was this girl with a perfect family but always felt like missing something in her life. The appearance of Jase painted a new color in Sam’s dull life. I loved it so much whenever they’re together. Jase was so mature and he brought a maturity out of Sam too. It’s not that Sam was a childish or difficult girl. Sam was simply plain in the beginning. Being with Jase, Sam became so much better as she showed that she’s the kind of rich girl with a golden heart. I loved to see how she enjoyed being with Jase’s unique family. Really, I did think that they’re just perfect for each other. But, there’s a lacking I noticed in their romance. While it might be unfair to call their romance as insta-love, it just felt like that to me. Sam might be ‘watching’ him for years and knew one or two things about him besides his amazing body but wasn’t it takes a real interaction between two people before you could really call it a romance? That’s what I thought, and Sam and Jase didn’t have that until they were literally staring at each other with stars in their eyes just ten chapters after they first met (the book was fifty-chapters long, anyway, so imagine how fast things had been going between them).

I was indifferent to Sam’s character at first, but she became interesting the more time she spent with Jase, seeing how funny Sam could be around the Garrets kids and how she sincerely loved their family. Then twist after twist started to come barreling in to her way and … there come out her truest personality. Samantha Reed, the girl who used to be swayed in a perfectly easy life where her only issues were her perfectionist mom and some girly problems with school, best friend, and boys. So when she was slammed with a real twist of real life, she had no idea what to do. She frustrated me a bit there, but I put up with her because that’s exactly how a girl like her would react in that kind of circumstance. I actually liked that Sam was not entirely a flawless girl but a girl who was good and bad, both. Meanwhile, Jase remained lovely till the end. He was the too-good-to-be-true who adopted some prince charming-like attitudes. Of course, I loved him because who doesn’t, really?

I just loved the dynamic of Jase’s family so much. The kids, especially George and Patsy made me want to kidnap them and pour them with my sincerest love every single day. The people in Jase’s world were all unique and charming in their own way while the people in Sam’s world were the total opposites. Her back-stabbing ‘best-friend’ and her amazing Senator mom with her politic-enthusiast boyfriend were enough characters to make me want to throw the book all the way to the moon and back, repeatedly. Clay Tucker (Senator Reed’s *cue vomit* boyfriend) was the biggest FLAW in this potentially great read. I don’t understand why the author felt the need to include so much of their moments together. And since the book was told in Sam’s perspective, I guess my question should be: why Sam could even bear watching them together for that long? AND don’t even get me started with Nan, Sam’s best-friend slash the back-stabber. Nan’s personality didn’t make sense at all. And the reason of their fight was ridiculous. Apparently she’s not the best friend Sam thought she had all along; apparently she’s been holding grudge toward Sam for no particular reasons other than her own jealousy about what Sam had that she had not and just waiting for the right moment to throw it out to Sam’s face. What a sweet friend you kid!
Meanwhile, Tim, Nan’s twin-brother who I’d been ignored and even a bit loathed at the beginning turned out to be someone who saved the day. Or maybe not exactly like that, but he did become someone who you’d totally love in the end. I liked it whenever a side-character played a role that makes them more. Unfortunately that Sam’s sister didn’t get a chance to play one as well.

Even though there were just so many things that make me dislike this book, and though the second half of the book did feel like the story was going nowhere, I liked the essential lesson being implied in this book.
That not everyone you do wrong in life expects you to apologize a hundred times and demand you to pay for their losses no matter what it takes. Sometimes all they want is just for you to take a step back and see how they fix every ruined thing on their own. So you could realize just how far deep your action affected their life. So you would think twice before you do the same mistake again to any other people in the future.

The author didn’t actually provide a conclusive ending. So many issues had not resolved at last and though many people would think differently about it, the ending did bother me. I am a firm believer of John Lennon’s saying: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end”. And it’s definitely not the end of My Life Next Door for me because it’s not okay. I won’t tell you what’s not okay, though.

It upset me that I didn’t really enjoy this book and that there’s no sequel whatsoever for Jase and Samantha. I’d wanted to read this for so long but now that I have, I couldn’t find what I’d been looking for eventually… *sigh*
Well, guess it’s time to move on then.

Love, read, and review,

Cynthia D.

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(Netgalley) ARC Review: Burn Girl by Mandy Mikulencak

Burn Girl by Mandy Mikulencak
Rating: /5

*I received digital ARC of this book from Albert Whitman & Company through Netgalley*

Pub. Date: September 1st, 2015

Get a copy here!
AMAZON | BOOK DEPOSITORY

At first, I was a little worried that this book would be that kind of dark read that would take me into a dreadful state. I’m glad that it’s more like a sad read than depressing. In fact, it wasn’t entirely sad because the story actually emanates a feeling of hopeful for those who read it. Or at least that’s what the author initially wanted to relay through this story.

Burn Girl tells a story about Arlie, a flawed girl with sixteen years of dark memories trying to live a ‘normal’ life for the first time. The opening scene was Arlie narrating a story when she found her mom’s lifeless body in their motel room. By the indifference in Arlie’s tone, we could see how her mother’s death only affected her very little than it was supposed to be. Arlie had been a tough girl her entire life, being a hardly-ever-sober meth addict’s daughter. She had to take a random job at such a young age to support their lives while at the same time taking care of her mother every time she went high. When her mother decided to live a nomadic life in Durango by moving from one motel to another trying to dodge the chase of an ex-husband, Arlie left school for good. She often thought of running away but at some points she would eventually come back. Living with her addict mom was no different than having no mom; none of them is a better choice than each other. So it was a little weird for her to feel sad when the person who’s dead is the very person who always gives her a hard time. All she felt was this hollowness of not knowing what to do and where to go after years of hiding from the world.

The last great thing happened to Arlie was from five years ago when she met a quirky girl over the motel’s dumpster. Meeting Mo, a girl who declared herself as a friend on their first encounter was the first step that made Arlie feels like a normal sixteen years old girl. Mo had not been only loyal but she introduced her to a life a teenage girl supposed to have. It didn’t take long before Arlie and Mo became a solid best friend. I am touched by the friendship they built over years. Mo is everything Arlie isn’t. But that’s where a strong friendship usually comes from. The author creates Mo’s character so lovable. Her character is a perfect picture of best friend a girl could ever have. I think she might be the most selfless side-character I ever read. It was lucky of Arlie that among all of the chaos she still had Mo, the last string that made everything bearable for her.

Arlie was sure now that her mother had died, she would eventually end up in a foster home knowing that she might be the last person in their barely existing family tree. But when someone named Frank from Texas claimed he was Arlie’s mom’s brother, she realized that maybe, just maybe, her life would be all different now.

With companies of a weird yet kind-hearted uncle she never knew about, a best-friend who never left and a boy who could never saw the world yet able to help her see one, Arlie had to face a brand new chapter of her life as a normal girl with a normal life. It might sound easy but when the ghost from her past kept haunting her every step, Arlie realized that sometimes it takes more than just a self-bravery to fight your demon. Sometimes, you have to let others in so you can all fight them together ‘till the end.

Even though Arlie’s literally the ‘victim’ here, it’s kind of hard for me to really connect with her. She kept getting on my nerves all the time. I understand the wary feeling Arlie constantly felt toward the ‘new life’ she was about to face considering how happiness seemed so far away from her reach for years. I want it so bad to sympathize with her circumstance. But she made it difficult by keep shutting out people who truly cared for her. She constantly pushed people away because she believed that everything was just a camouflage that would disappear from her sight at some point. Moreover when she tried to be all tough and brave, for me it just came out as reckless and very irresponsible of her. Truthfully, I liked her character much better when her mother was still alive. The Arlie ‘before’ was so mature and reliable. Reading the memories of her past, I felt so much ache for little Arlie for having to deal with ugly things her mom always did then how growing up she became this strong girl practically taking responsibility for them both. It’s just sad that the Arlie ‘after’ became kind of frustrating with her I-don’t-deserve-everyone personality.

The romance she had with Cody was really sweet. Though some people might see an irony of the pair (with Cody was blind that he couldn’t see the ugly burn scar in Arlie’s face), I like to think that they made a beautiful couple with their flaws. Cody who could never see anything in life showed Arlie that sometimes the beauty of something doesn’t always need to be seen through the eyes. Sometimes when you just close your eyes and let the other senses to work, that’s when the beauty feels even more intense. The progress of their relationship might be considered fast but I loved it alright. I just wished though that there’s a deeper background story of Cody’s character and their very first encounter.

Mo and Frank easily become my favorite characters in Burn Girl. While friendship with Mo is something to envy about, Frank offers a beautiful uncle-niece relationship to Arlie. For a man his age, Frank is really patient with Arlie’s difficult personality. I love him so much for trying so hard to give everything his sister could never give to Arlie. He showed so much effort to give his best even when Arlie least expected him to.

Even though Arlie made a lot of stupid decisions throughout the story, I liked that there was a scene that made her character somehow stand out a bit in the end. It was a little dramatic but I loved the message implied within the scene that after all Arlie was just simply a sixteen years old with a rough past; that every mistake was solely driven by her one-sided love for the mother who had disappointed her all her life. In the end, I’m glad that she finally realized her self-worth―thanks to the people who never stopped reminding her of it.

This book had a quite predictable plot and a really slow pace but I pretty enjoyed it. The amazing side-characters made the book much more interesting than its actual simple storyline. Burn Girl offers a story of a scarred girl trying to find a place in her new life while dealing with the shadow of the dark past that keeps following her everywhere.

Arlie’s story teaches us that the ugly past isn’t something you need to eliminate completely from your mind but it could be the foundation of our future strength; something to remind us that we were once survived from such breakdown and we could always do it again when we need to.

Love, read, and review,

Cynthia D.

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(Netgalley) ARC Review: Drowning is Inevitable by Shalanda Stanley

Drowning Is Inevitable by Shalanda Stanley
Rating: /5

*I received digital ARC of this book from Random House Children's through Netgalley*

Pub. Date: September 8th, 2015

Get a copy here!

AMAZON | BOOK DEPOSITORY 

A heart-breaking story of a girl who tries to find herself in between reality and illusion, memories and projections, .... life and death. 

I have a complicated feeling about this book. At first, I was really excited to start reading this. Then halfway through the book, I found the story was too dark and the characters were too morbid to my liking. In the end, it felt like I just read a really gripping story of a confused girl trying to find her true self among layers of tragic memories, negative-judgments, and non-existence parental guidance. And when I re-read my highlights once again before writing down this review, I just realized how sad yet beautiful this book was.
This is the thing about reviewing a book: you could end up falling in love with the book you think you dislike after reading it. It’s only one of so many reasons I love reviewing books.

Drowning is Inevitable starts when Olivia, the narrator slash the female lead, began telling a story about what truly happened to her and her best-friend for life, Jamie Benton. The paragraph is written in a way that you could assume that Olivia was addressing it to someone particular. This what I think is a riveting start and is also what makes me believe what I would read more later wouldn’t be so pretty. And it is.

The majority of this book consists of Olivia’s depressing description of her deceased-mother’s―Lillian’s―past life and how it affected her life ever since it happened, with people’s scrutiny of whether she would end up remain eighteen forever like her mom. ‘Seeing’ it from Olivia’s perspective is much more depressing than the story itself because at seventeen Olivia had this morbid thought that following Lillian’s habit would somehow lead her to the biggest mystery in her life. A mystery of why her mom walked into the Mississippi river and never came back―all she did when Olivia was still three-years old, all she did on her eighteenth birthday. I know it’s just really sad that Olivia thinks and acts like that considering her very unsupportive environment (father who’s drowning in his own grief and couldn’t own up his responsibility as a parent; grandmother who takes care of her well―as Lillian) but I felt that it’s just difficult to relate to her. When Olivia was in ‘Lillian’ mode, she tended to do reckless things that only made her friends worried and people’s judgment worsened. I tried to understand her―really, but sometimes it’s hard to truly understand someone’s mindset when you never experienced what they have. Even until I went through halfway of the book, I still couldn’t figure out where I stand about her character. It’s a good thing Shalanda Stanley gradually and steadily directed us to understand where her characters actually come from.

When something awful happened to Jamie’s family, Olivia decided to keep their childhood promise made on Fidelity Street―where every promise was taken very seriously by people in St. Francisville. Along with Maggie, their other best friend, and Max, Olivia’s on-and-off again boyfriend, Olivia took Jamie away from their small town on a trip to anywhere people couldn’t find them. She was aware that what they did was totally illegal but leaving Jamie alone to deal with things on his own felt more illegal than anything forbidden in the world. So began their journey of finding safe haven where happiness was possible and actually existed for them. Olivia’s friendship with Jamie is eerily beautiful and strange. From Olivia’s description of Jamie, we could see how much Jamie meant to her. It’s actually such an interesting part to go into but it’s just unfortunate that we could only ‘see’ this portrayal of friendship from Olivia’s perspective. Majority things we knew about Jamie we got them from Olivia’s narration instead of an actual scene of him. It somehow made it looks like their friendship was unbalance to Olivia’s side. It’s as if Olivia was obsessed too much about Jamie rather than they both felt an equal amount of chemistry to each other. I guess I could say that Jamie’s character was a little too shallow especially when the book tried to include a topic of friendship involving him. What’s funny is I could actually feel more with Maggie and Max than with Jamie. It’s strange because Maggie and Max are only side characters who naturally are supposed to be easily forgotten.

It’s when Olivia was on this escapade with her friends where she found the answer of every question she had ever since forever. Olivia’s character was more reachable when she finally meets someone who could really tell her about Lillian. I guess getting a shade of light on such long-directionless search opened her eyes wide to the reality. As Olivia learned the truth and realized what she should’ve been doing all along, it became much easier to connect with her character.

Reading this book, I felt these series of frustrating feelings: dreaded, disturbed, and sad. The latter I felt somewhere near the ending because during the three-fourth of the book I was too focused on its dark and heavy situation that it’s so hard to feel sad or even shed a tear.

The ending was my best favorite part of the story. For the first time since I picked this book up, I felt like I could release the breath that I didn’t realize I’d been holding. I was anxious about how the author would end it but I’m so thankful that she managed to wrap it up very well for such a complex issue.

Drowning is Inevitable is a story about a girl who’s supposed to fight her demon but ended up fighting her best friend’s instead. It tells about a kind of friendship that could make someone have no fear doing their worst and the best because to be a friend is to give your all. But it also tells you that being a best friend isn’t about blindly doing everything for them but knowing exactly the right things to do for them. Because sometimes to be a friend is not about giving your all. Because sometimes to be a friend is about to give and to receive as well. And most importantly, whether you’ll lose yourself or find yourself through that friendship you build.

With a smooth and lyrical writing style, Drowning is Inevitable is a read that suits tastes of readers who enjoy heart-rending story of one’s journey to find herself among complexities.

Love, read, and review,

Cynthia D.

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(Netgalley) ARC Review: Ghostboy, Chameleon, and the Duke of Graffiti by Olivia Wildenstein

Ghostboy, Chameleon & the Duke of Graffiti by Olivia Wildenstein
Rating: /5

*I received digital ARC of this book from the publisher through Netgalley*

Pub. Date: April 16th, 2015

Get a copy here!
AMAZON | BOOK DEPOSITORY 

This is the book that I doubt I would enjoy because of the childlike title yet something I would pick up anyway because of the unique title. After I read the brief description available on Netgalley, I became more curious as I couldn’t make out where the title clicked with the story. Ghostboy, Chameleon, and the Duke of Graffiti sounds exactly like a fantasy book for me. While I wasn’t right about it, I wasn’t totally wrong either. That is the title of a fantasy book; the one that exists inside this contemporary book.

The next thing that picked up my interest ―after the cover― was the perspective being used in this book. Now that I think about it, I’ve never read a book where the story is told solely from the male lead’s perspective. I was a little worried that it wouldn’t sound good or came out unnatural as the author is female but she actually did a really good job ‘voicing’ teenage boy to deliver the plot.

The story began with a scene where Duke was brought to principal’s office after his attempt to spread out his creativity all the way to principal’s car (yes, he’s the graffiti boy on the title). Duke’s not a bad student, really. He did it as a challenge to join some exclusive club called Alphas which two of his best friends were already in. Duke’s ended up grounded and had a new side role at school as janitor, both for a month. While being in this messed up situation that Duke met Cora, the Goth girl slash principal’s daughter. It’s not that he never met her before. He did know her; they just never really talked to each other until this time. Guess detention kind of opened up his world to more than just the basketball team, popular cheerleaders, and the Alphas.

I have to admit that the first few chapters of this book are sort of plain and uneventful. Maybe it’s the short-length scenes, or the unsmooth transitions between each scene, or the fact that at first the scenes seemed too focused on mundane things of Duke’s life rather than picking up the plot forward. Duke went on with his janitor assignments, occasionally ran into Cora, little banter happened, him trying to brush his weird feeling for the Goth girl by dating another girl, negotiating with his parents to let him go out, and hanging out with friends who encouraged him to keep his spirit joining the Alphas.

It went on like that even though I did highlight some funny scenes throughout the book. It felt so long when I realized I was still on the first quarter of the book that the first twist finally came. I couldn’t remember on which chapter exactly that I began to fully enjoy the story. Maybe it was after the first twist came up or much later when Duke finally met someone who changed so much of his life. Meeting an eight years old Jaime, gave Duke’s more useful thing to do other than worrying about school boy’s cliché things: popularity at school, basketball, girls, or joining some secret club. Discovering the little boy’s big secret, Duke felt something shift inside him, something where he felt more thankful for the life he had, for the complete family he got, something that pushed him to do the right thing in his life.

Duke’s character represents everything a good teenage boy is like. He thinks and acts as naturally as most boys his age but I do love that he’s such a loving kid to his family. I love Duke’s relationship with his parents and his grandma. Actually Duke’s family is really something; it looks like so much fun to hang out with them and everything they do is really comical. I lost count on how many times I laughed whenever their scenes were up. Even scene as worrying as Duke’s sudden appendix attack was so darn funny for me.

And then there’s Cora who isn’t as lucky as Duke’s in family department. With incomplete parents and little brother who already had to face a big battle with cancer at eight, Cora had her own issue that shaped her into a girl with cold demeanor and thick make-up. After several encounters with Cora, Duke felt so taken aback with his weird feeling for the girl who’s so different than his usual type. Perhaps it’s the cold-shoulders that Cora kept throwing at him, or her charcoal-like make-upped eyes, but Duke felt the urge to unravel whatever she hid behind the mask. I like that it’s not exactly an insta-love happening between them. They resented each other from the start yet in the end they shared equal affection for the same person. Jaime who was no other than Cora’s little brother started to build a tight bond with Duke when he decided to write him a story, trying to give him adventure he probably would never get. Their relationship seemed casual at first but slowly it tightened and soon they realized that they never wanted to be separated from each other. Duke never knew that Jaime would be more than just his writing-buddy and he never knew that Jaime would be the very person that brought him and Cora closer than ever. The three of them formed a unique group as they went on a mission to cross each point from Jaime’s bucket list.

As much as I love the romance in this book, I love Duke’s relationship with Jaime more. I guess it’s after Duke started to hang out more with Jaime that I started to really enjoy the story ―including the one Duke and Jaime wrote together.

That’s when this book started to give me so much ‘feels’.

I shed my first tear on 80% mark. And that’s also the beginning of every tear I shed again and again all the way to the last page. When I first read the book I know exactly just how it would end up eventually. But I guess Ms. Wildenstein tried to relay this to us from the start, that no matter how it ends, it’s the story that matters the most. See the words etched on the cover?

Some endings are inevitable, but so are the stories.

She tried to remind us again through Jaime’s words:

“Just because you know the ending doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it.”

I could so relate to this. Growing up I always hold on the process-based thinking system. I am taught not to worry so much about the result as what much more important is the process. The ending was one painful experience for each character yet no one wanted to change a thing if it meant replacing the togetherness, unforgettable moments, and the tight bond had been formed between them. There was this red thread between the story of this book and the one written by the characters. It’s really beautiful and poignant.

Ghostboy, Chameleon, and the Duke of Graffiti is the book about finding unexpected love and losing unexpected friend in unexpected time and place. Duke’s character teaches us that you don’t need to be the most popular kid at school or be in some fancy exclusive club to be able to do amazing thing and give people happiness. This book might feel ordinary for me at first but it felt so good to discover what a ride it took me to the last page. It’s just so many feeling all blended into one. And what an ending to wrap them up with… :)

I strongly recommend this book for everyone who wants to experience what I said above. Ms. Wildenstein chose two cliché themes of YA novel ―terminal illness and story-writing― and put them together into an astonishing story that many people would find it hard to put it down. What a stellar debut novel!

Love, read, and review,

Cynthia D.

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(Netgalley) ARC Review: Two Across by Jeff Bartsch

Two Across by Jeff Bartsch

Rating: /5

*I received digital ARC of this book from Netgalley*

Pub. Date: August 4th, 2015

Get a copy here!

AMAZON | BOOK DEPOSITORY 

Reading the blurb of this book, I was intrigued by the uncommon choice of main characters of the book. And to think that this book is written by male author, it actually makes me think that something about this book might differ itself from other NA books.

I read a lot of NA these past two years and Two Across comes out nothing alike every NA I’ve read before. In fact, I think it’s more like literary fiction ―even if it’s not actually a genre. Two Across covers wide timeline of the whole story. Its main focus is how both main characters with complex characteristics going through some ups and downs in their life together where they learn and discover their true self in the process that at some point changes their perspectives and gives way to a self-introspection in the end. Also, how this book is written is unlike most NA books. To put this book under NA category I think might give away slightly different depiction of the book to the readers.

Two Across is a fiction set in 1960. This is something that the blurb fails to mention about this book. I expected this book would be a contemporary read (what with being shelved as NA) so I was surprised to find out it wasn’t. But I like it! As a historical-fiction enjoyer, I found this time set intriguing and suits the whole plot.

Vera Baxter’s first encounter with Stanley Owens was during National Spelling Bee in NYC on 1960. The two of them competed one on one and ended up winning together in tie. It’s kind of comical how it went on between them. Stanley who at first did not really up to win the competition, felt challenged when he saw the last competitor was the anxious yet eager girl with calm façade; he wanted to win. As words spelled by, Vera began to grow evil mind for the handsome boy who seemed never to fail to spell the given words. Oh boy, it cracked me up when Vera did imagine a car with Stanley on it sailing through a guardrail. That’s when I decided that I like her character. What an interesting-minded girl!

The opening scene of spelling contest is one great way to pull the readers in. The tension and childish mind-battle between two characters make the readers sure that this book would be a one-sitting material alright. I think so, too, and I finished this book in less than a day (which for slow reader like me is actually a big deal).

From there, Vera and Stanley began to meet annually as visiting alumni. They went for a DC trip once and both of them built a good though long distance friendship as Vera’s always on the road following her mom while Stanley’s always in the Hawthorne hotel where his mom seemed permanently fixed there. Until a year after their city trip as the day they would meet again for the third time since the spelling competition, Vera realized that she might develop some special feeling for Stanley. Then the day came and Stanley welcomed her with his usual smile. Unless, this time their annual visit finally became a turning point of their simple relationship into the most complicated relationship ever existed.

For some story, it might always start and end with love. But Vera and Stanley’s story starts and ends with crossword puzzle. Crossword puzzle is the reason Stanley comes up with big reckless idea of fake a marriage with Vera, which Vera agrees to come along and ends up hurting at over and over. But crossword puzzle is also the reason they reunite and reconnect the missing pieces together after such long long years of hide-and-seek. I love this part a lot! It’s really unique, it’s touching, eerily beautiful, and poignant to have such random thing to connect with someone with whom our hearts tied to.

Vera and Stanley are both smart people ―genius, even― yet their lives aren’t as easy as most people would think of them. This book shows that even smart people struggle in life. Unlike not-smart people who know better that not much people want to accept them in a job or a community, but smart people sometimes even have a trouble to accept their self before stepping out to the outside world. Stanley’s having a hard time to accept the fact that he’s academically gifted and might build a really bright career by going through an excellent education system. He wanted something else, something much simpler like being a crossword puzzle creator, though in his case he would definitely be a master of it with ease. I feel so much feeling for both characters. I root for Vera in everything she did to save herself from falling harder. I also sympathize with Stanley for everything he did to save himself from being ‘trapped’ forever. What Stanley did is obviously bad, worst even, but at some parts I guess I could understand his reason. It’s just that his oblivious about Vera’s feeling is damn frustrating. Even after he realized his true feeling, he chose to hold back from saying the truth. But I guess I understand why he chose to do so as well. As for Vera, I never even dislike her for a bit. She might be the one who’s always leaving, but she’s also trying to be the one who want to reconnect the old pieces. I guess that’s what love do to you, not to make you a fool, but to make you a good forgiver. Well, at least that’s how I see it positive way.

Each character in this book is unique in their own way. The characterizations for each of them are done very well. Vera and Stanley are such complex characters whose every action lead the story all the way to the end. I love how thing ends up eventually. Every lies is admitted, every mistakes is forgiven, and every lost is found again. Some people might not like how things end for Vera and Stanley but I’m satisfied enough with them. Really satisfied, even, because I personally think it’s beautiful.

Two Across is beautifully written. Even though I had to go again and again highlighting each rare word to find its definition, I think it’s worth it. This book was a little off at chapter 6 where I felt it’s hard to relate with the circumstance happening to Vera and Stanley but it picks its charm back up on next chapter. The pace is a little slow and there are repetitive scenes at some point but I enjoyed it thoroughly. For a debut novel, this book creates a really good start to introduce the author’s writing style to the readers. Some people might see this book differently than what I write here on my review but all in all, I love it!

Love, read, and review,

Cynthia D.

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Book Review: Red Rising (Red Rising Trilogy #1) by Pierce Brown

Red Rising by Pierce Brown

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Get a copy here!
AMAZON | BOOK DEPOSITORY

So this book was a proof of my sometimes-lameness in reading certain book. I purchased the kindle copy last year, started reading it for the first time around February, and now 3 months later I just finished it after having long battle with side of me that wanted to keep putting it down. I swear this was my first time of needing such a long time to finish a fiction.

I personally was in total awe with this book and Pierce Brown. Red Rising was a debut novel and the author outdid himself with all the rich details and the unthought-of plot, ever. And not to forget his imagination to build up a fantasy of the whole Mars and all its complexity, it was dead awesome. Bloodydamn. Just where did he gather the inspiration to write this trilogy?

‘I was not raised in palaces. I did not ride horses through meadows and eat meals of hummingbird tongues. I was forged in the bowels of this hard world. Sharpened by hate. Strengthened by love.’

(Prologue, Red Rising)

Sixteen years old Darrow was a Red. A Red by all means was meant to be a slave to higher colors, specifically Gold. Sad truth Reds sat on the very bottom of society which made them slaves to every color. Darrow never dreamt of living more than what his current life offered now. He was a helldiver, the youngest in history, the best in history. He married a beautiful brave girl named Eo. He had his family all living together even though his father was long gone when he was still a kid. He thought no more than spending all his life in Lykos as Red Lambda where song and dance was the comforts to their rough life.

But nothing remained forever in life.

“I live for you”

“Then you must live for more.”

(Chapter IV, Red Rising)

The day the nightmare happened, all Darrow wanted was to follow the smell of death. And that was what about to happen except a group of rebels wanted a different path for him.

Away from Lykos, family, and all familiar thing back in Red ground, Darrow was shaped to a whole different form. Red Darrow was now a Gold. Well, at least that was what shown on the outside. Darrow was still Red in heart and sure he would never change. Disguised as Gold, Darrow tried a risky step to infiltrate the evil color from the inside. And just like another teenage Gold, he stepped up to join a Gold institution where he could pick a start of revenge. Little did he know that the institution wasn’t at all like its simple name. It was not a school. It was more like a life-and-death battle to be the only one ArchPrimus. Darrow used all his strength to be the said Primus and found along the way how exactly it was to be a real Gold: mean, unforgiving, and unstopped. He began to question himself about all he’d done to get the title, wondered if that would make him no less than an evil Gold. But he did it all for Red, for people back in Lykos, for every Red blood who put their faiths on his shoulder. Surely that would make a different, right? As he questioned himself that, he was faced with another surprising fact that Gold could be a loyal friend if treated right. Struggling with all these complicated dilemmas, Darrow was once again reminded by the fact that in the end, after all the torture, blood, pain, and death, it was only just a beginning.

I remembered became all teary inside once I finished it. Not because the story, though, but because the fact that I was finally able to reach the last page.

My first impression about Red Rising was hardcore dystopian.

But first thing first, let me say something.

I NEVER like dystopian book.

I hate it. I do. Dystopian infuriates and depresses me at the same time. I always avoid this genre at all cost. I believe that reading is a joy where we could fully escape to the story without having to worry about being lost because we can always close the page any moment to come back. But the ‘misery’ from reading this genre seemed to haunt my soul forever no matter just when I decided to stop reading it.

So we could easily conclude that I’d hate this book. What with each violence scene was being described very casually here.

But here I was going to say something that would make my whole speech above pointless: I loved Red Rising.

I know, I was being confusing here but this was what exactly I felt. This book had me at mental battle between loving and hating this book. I hated this book that I couldn’t stop wincing at all those miserable scenes which practically on EVERY page. Yet my mind was in a superb awestruck condition by all the details that I could not forget this book until this very second. Hell, Red Rising might be the first dystopian book that I ever loved.

The author did characterizations to each character very well. Darrow was my top favorite. I loved that Pierce Brown didn’t make him as this flawless hero but simply as human who made mistakes and learned from it to be better. I loved Darrow’s way of thinking despite his young age. He was so much mature, well, being Red it was common though.

The other character, Eo, also took special place in my heart. There was this one particular scene where she did something that later became the turning point of Red Rising. I loved Darrow for loving her so deep. Never once he forgot her while doing his risky mission. After all, what he’d done was all started because of Eo’s move first.

‘And she may be like me— from a clan of Red earth diggers, a clan of song and dance and soil— but she could be made from air, from the ether that binds the stars in a patchwork.’ 

(Chapter I, Red Rising)

I super loved the details about Mars, how separate the life of each colors there. I kept saying about rich details here because that was what the author did. He went all out with details for everything. When devouring all these details, for a second there, I could easily forget my hope to get an HEA from this book. Clearly, the author knew very well what he wrote and what to do to engage readers to stay put until the end of the book.

Anyway, there was one thing that bothered me a lot about the title.

First time I read the title ‘Red Rising’, all I could think of was this book would be about Red people fighting their rights, like they were having actual war of getting justification somewhere in the middle of the book. Instead it was focusing more on the preparation of rising, like how Darrow went through all those awful phases transforming into Gold, then more about how Gold’s world worked. Gold took like 80% of the book. I kept thinking when the rising would occur only to find out on the last page that everything was just a beginning. The actual rising didn’t even really happened here. It annoyed me when the title of the book misleading what I thought about the story inside.

Oh, another complaint: just how many odd terms on this book made it rather difficult sometimes for me to immerse into the story. This might be one of the reasons I kept putting it down. Just put glossary in the end of the book then problem fixed!

So, despite my complaints and my speech about hating dystopian book, here I said that I loved this book, or more like awestricken by this book. I wanted so bad to read the continuation of Red’s rising under Darrow’s command but I still don’t know when I’d read the next book because clearly I needed time to recover from the torture caused by Red Rising before firing it up again with second book. Well, hopefully soon.

Love, read, and review,

Cynthia D.

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Book Review: Down the Wormhole by Ana Franco

Down The Wormhole by Ana Franco

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

*I received a digital copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review*

I was contacted by the author personally to read Down the Wormhole and give it an honest review. Foremost, it’s always a plus point in my eyes for authors who don’t mind to personally contact the readers to read their books. I don’t know, maybe because I just love authors who love to connect with readers…

The blurb was intriguing that’s why I agreed to do as the author asked. Here, let me cite the part that made me curious about the book:

‘In a city there is a tiny lane that separates two orphanages –one for boys and one for girls. Inside live two very special groups of teenagers. These teenagers carry a secret and leave it tucked safely away in their mysterious lives.’

My mind immediately thought that reading this book would be such an interesting ride. Well… turned out it was fine. I mean, this book wasn’t real bad but I wasn’t crazily in love with it either. The concept was good and had big potential to be an amazing book but it wasn’t delivered well which was quite unfortunate.

The beginning was all over the place. I had a hard time immersing myself into the story. The story went back and forth without clear slates between each event. It was really hard to keep up with constantly changing circumstances. It went on like that until the end of the book. It was seriously pretty frustrating.

Down the Wormhole combined several mythologies as the background characterization of each character on the book. I admit my knowledge of these mythologies is limited so I had to do some side researches to connect with the story. But still, the author didn’t provide clear background story for each character so it was real difficult to relate with them. It was unknown why these gods lived in human world, moreover in orphanages all of places. The main character, Kitty, being the ‘normal’ one was no different. She was described as an orphan without any further identities other than her name, Kitty. Where did she come? How could she be so clueless about her own basic information? She’s been living for almost 18 years, seriously; it was a bit irrational that she’d no idea about all these all this time. And what’s with all the characters and their explosive non-sense demeanors? Kitty, for example, had a serious bad issue of temper. One second she could be all shy and quiet around people, next second she was all angry and cranky to everyone around her. Her exchange banters with Thomas (the Amergin slash hero of the book) might be quite funny sometimes but most of the time it happened unreasonably. I thought she’d be like that just in certain scene but it happened again and again throughout the book. What worse, everyone was like that. Except Natalie, maybe (but then she, too, had a problem with being all defenseless in front of the enemies so she wasn’t much better). It made every conversation they had with each other just made no sense to me. And is it just me or Kitty and Anna (the Aphrodite) actually had some personal issues I missed that’s explained somewhere on the book? No offense. But everything about the characters just didn’t make sense to me…

And talking about the plot, I personally thought that the main issue of the Down the Wormhole was unclear. Only after I reread some parts I could understand the direction of the story. But for some people it might seem like a messed and badly-built plot. Why? A story is basically based on several events which connected in logical and rational ways to build the climax (or climaxes) that leads into some conclusions. Down the Wormhole had a problem about connecting each events. It jumped here and there. The scenes that contained essential information was put randomly thus most readers would definitely miss some points about real purpose of the book.

I must admit that the concept of the story was good with all the mythological background for the characters. I also thought that when the big mystery was unraveled, it did a good job surprising me. I kept waiting for the continuation for this very thing and how it would conclude in the end but sadly it wasn’t dwelled further. This could be a great twist but the author chose to overlook this point and focus on the other thing. For me, though, I think it’s all just a matter of the way the author delivered the concept via some basic elements of writing a story. Creating a raw concept in mind is easy but the tricky part is how to form a good and logical plot (consists of several events and climaxes) regarding the concept. What trickier is how you put them into pages of sensible words. And the trickiest is to make sure that the readers get the message.

But, really, Down the Wormhole had a fresh concept of YA fantasy with the entire mythological thing (as far as I know). The author clearly knows a lot about mythology. I’m sure it’d be such a great story if being told in a better writing style. Hopefully I’ll see more of Ms. Franco’s works about this theme in a much better way of writing :)

Love, read, and review,

Cynthia D.

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