August 13, 2012

Random: Past Note

Hello! Ah seriously I am a bad blogger. Where did I go past several weeks? ใ…‹ใ…‹ใ…‹ I was being such a very lazy person. Blame this long holiday lol. Anyway so many untold story from this holiday of mine (that almost over). Good ones. Bad ones. Well, i did write some and I found it somewhere on my file folder. It belongs to the bad-ones. Actually i do not feel comfy talking about this but yeah, sometimes i feel by sharing the story, my uncomfy feelin will be decreasing. Hope so.
So, here it is. I wrote this on July 8th. It made me teary back then. Ha ha. But I am cool with it now.

Everything was a mess today. It should be my happiest day since I had flight to my hometown Solo for holiday. But the reality just went really mean. I got robbed. I don’t want to talk about it because every time I had the memories in mind, I’ll feel breathless for no reason and my heart is aching badly. Everything happened in a flash, I didn’t even know what to say. I felt like losing my consciousness. I kept saying in mind that it’s okay but I can’t stop my self from falling deeper to the lost feeling. I lost everything inside my purse and the purse itself. I lost my phones. I lost my phone before and tried to be okay. But it happened again now it’s even two! I lost everything in it, my favorite Captain’s photos, my Sexy Free and Single album, my portable diary, my favorite Kevin’s fancams, my flash disk, my modem, my fave novels, my… oh God I’m sorry I can’t just let them go like I promise You. I’m just a weak girl, I cried easily when I cant stand over a thing, I cried like a baby when I lost my things. I’m so sorry. It happened right before I had flight to Jakarta. I lost my tickets too but thanks God, I still could joined the flight after re checked in. I felt like a lost kid. Had a flight all alone to Jakarta with all money that I had on my pocket. It’s all that I had anyway. I tried to watch movie on the plane, Architecture 101 if I don’t mistaken the title, but I didn’t understand the movie at all, even a bit. Then I read some magazines but still, it’s nothing came to my mind. I did it all to swept that thoughts away off my mind. But it wasn’t succeeded at all. I found myself crying all alone on transit room at Soekarno Hatta Airport. It was the hardest two hours ever in my life. I was so pathetic. Really really pathetic. People stared at me when they saw me cry. Who cares, if you just lost all your fave things?! That time I just wanted to quickly boarded the plane all the way to Solo. I kept being strong when I finally saw mom’s face among the crowds at Adi Soemarmo Airport. Suddenly I felt tired of being strong and cried on mom’s shoulders. Really like a baby. I’m trying to gave it all to God. All my fave things, if you’re still mine, I believe God will bring you back to me. But if you’re not then I just want to say, I’m happy I could have you on past time. :’)
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