September 19, 2012

Random: A Fangirl I Am

Hi! Wah I really am a very bad blogger ㅋㅋㅋㅋ. Kept telling a crap about will post frequently since I had blog application on my mobile. But the fact, it remains the same. I did not post frequently.
So, I just woke up this AM. It is around 4:28 AM right now and I don't know what to do. I saw this blog app icon in the corner of my phone's main screen and it seemed like waving at me ㅋㅋㅋ. So I just dropped by to say few words in this early morning~

Lately I've been very busy in something called 'fangirling'. Well, yes I am a fangirl. I keep spazzing about my idols every nights and days through my spazzing account on some social network site. Idr since when I became like this. It's just happened. At first, I ever thought about is this thing good for me. I mean I seemed like to obsessed towards them. Became all alone burying my face on my phone' or laptop' screen to update my self about every single news related to them. It happened everytime. Everyday. My pals keep saying about me being such a girl full of her obsessions. .
Yeah, I did think bout it. But as time goes by I think I already can hndle this feeling. I mean, it is okay for having a me-time for fangirling. Nothing is wrong about it. It is just how you handle your self to not getting too involved on one thing for so long. You should keep them balance. That's why God creates 24 hours in a day.
Being a fangirl is not a crap. I mean, common people usually mark us as a bunch of obsessed-girls who can spend all their thing (money, time, energy) for some unnecessary things. Well, we are not like that. I mean yes we did spend some of our money, time and energy. But the 'unnecessary things' you called is not some random stuffs for us. To love somebody, of course we have to sacrifice. And we do that to our idols. It is not like they didn't notice what we already did to them. In facts, my idols are very kind persons who consider us not just as their fans but moreover as their friends.. they did thankful for having us on their side, cry easily when they saw us waiting for them in a horrible weather, feel touched to have us fill the spaces around them everytime they're on stage. This kind of feeling is important to us. We such have a very strong relationship not as idols-fans but friends-friends.
Especially my idols who kindly present a very beautiful songs for us on their new album. Thanked us first when they got awards on a precious event.
I fall in love with their hearts not only because of their adorable looks or captivating performances. And I never regret being one of their fangirl. I know people commonly will get over thing after a long time. But I know I won't. I never involved deeply in something. But I know, being a fangirl is a choice. And I choose this path while living my life.
HAHAHA, am I being too dramatic? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ. Well, so I said I just want to say few words. But it ended up I poured so many waters to the glass ㅋㅋㅋㅋ. Idk whats wrong with me so I keep saying these kind of words.
So, enough I think. Now it's around 5AM and I really have to get up from my bed. So many things to do in this morning and I want to feel the fresh air first outside.
Have a great day ahead people! ^^

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August 13, 2012

Random: Past Note

Hello! Ah seriously I am a bad blogger. Where did I go past several weeks? ㅋㅋㅋ I was being such a very lazy person. Blame this long holiday lol. Anyway so many untold story from this holiday of mine (that almost over). Good ones. Bad ones. Well, i did write some and I found it somewhere on my file folder. It belongs to the bad-ones. Actually i do not feel comfy talking about this but yeah, sometimes i feel by sharing the story, my uncomfy feelin will be decreasing. Hope so.
So, here it is. I wrote this on July 8th. It made me teary back then. Ha ha. But I am cool with it now.

Everything was a mess today. It should be my happiest day since I had flight to my hometown Solo for holiday. But the reality just went really mean. I got robbed. I don’t want to talk about it because every time I had the memories in mind, I’ll feel breathless for no reason and my heart is aching badly. Everything happened in a flash, I didn’t even know what to say. I felt like losing my consciousness. I kept saying in mind that it’s okay but I can’t stop my self from falling deeper to the lost feeling. I lost everything inside my purse and the purse itself. I lost my phones. I lost my phone before and tried to be okay. But it happened again now it’s even two! I lost everything in it, my favorite Captain’s photos, my Sexy Free and Single album, my portable diary, my favorite Kevin’s fancams, my flash disk, my modem, my fave novels, my… oh God I’m sorry I can’t just let them go like I promise You. I’m just a weak girl, I cried easily when I cant stand over a thing, I cried like a baby when I lost my things. I’m so sorry. It happened right before I had flight to Jakarta. I lost my tickets too but thanks God, I still could joined the flight after re checked in. I felt like a lost kid. Had a flight all alone to Jakarta with all money that I had on my pocket. It’s all that I had anyway. I tried to watch movie on the plane, Architecture 101 if I don’t mistaken the title, but I didn’t understand the movie at all, even a bit. Then I read some magazines but still, it’s nothing came to my mind. I did it all to swept that thoughts away off my mind. But it wasn’t succeeded at all. I found myself crying all alone on transit room at Soekarno Hatta Airport. It was the hardest two hours ever in my life. I was so pathetic. Really really pathetic. People stared at me when they saw me cry. Who cares, if you just lost all your fave things?! That time I just wanted to quickly boarded the plane all the way to Solo. I kept being strong when I finally saw mom’s face among the crowds at Adi Soemarmo Airport. Suddenly I felt tired of being strong and cried on mom’s shoulders. Really like a baby. I’m trying to gave it all to God. All my fave things, if you’re still mine, I believe God will bring you back to me. But if you’re not then I just want to say, I’m happy I could have you on past time. :’)
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July 3, 2012

Random: Thoughts In The Mid of Rainy Noon

It's about 2:30pm here. And its raining a lot outside. Even the wind involved. And idk y i can smell pizza :p
I'm still bloggin via mobile. Actually I re-read my post yesterday and I were like, "geez, your eng is friggin lame, zzzz". So many mistakes here and there. Mayb its bcs i speak eng casually often to some overseas friends. We just speak our words out, dc about the grammar and such as long as we know what each other up to. I'm not goin to be an eng speaker anw so idc.
A test tomorrow. And 
I'm so effin lazy to study. Haha, such a bad student. Its about automation, prod system and CIM. I was slept all the time at class so what do I expect from myself..
Crap. I do talk much but I cant swept away thought of warm delicious pizza over my mind. Its cold and lonely (?) feelin suddenly comes up. I dont expect for what girls commonly need when its cold and lonely. My need is simple. Slice of pizza will be enough.

ps. Crap! I'm still fasting right now. Lmao.

Source: Me

July 2, 2012

Random: Hi!

It's been so long since my last post. Well, idk, im just so lazy. Now that I found this app on market, blogger app, i can blog everywhere anywhere. Ehehehe, I love instant thing now ^^
Well, pictures below are the reason of my worst lazinesss kkkk.
Now that im over it, i'll post often. Hehe, TGIBA! (thanks God its blogger app :D)

Source: Me
Source: Me (again)

February 13, 2012

Personal Writing: “Make Sense” - Conversations

Do you ever feel bored during a conversation?
Well, everybody does. Even when the things that being the topic of the conversation is things that you think it’s stupid to talk about. It’s like you are big fans of Red Hot Chili Pepper but people next to you is busy talking about new-formed girl band. You will be like, “euuh, I’m going crazy”. But now, what if the people you talk with is the special one, or you think he/she is? I bet you won’t say things like euuh or ck or sssh or such.
Well, sometimes thing like this happen in one’s life.

“Stupid conversations make sense when you’re talking to someone special”

I (not) accidentally found that statement. Well, I experienced it lately. So, I thought that these kind of statement must be exist and yes it is. It’s kinda cute, isn’t it? Ha ha ha, stupid me. But yeah, I were sitting that day and that one came so we involved in a lil conversation. Actually the things that being the topic isn’t something that I hate the most but I felt like, “why should this one?” but time goes by and I were like, “what is this?”. I kinda enjoyed it and as the statement above, It make sense. Then I gazed at that one and there was such a “click” sound in my head, “Is this one special?”. I was shocked cause that one is the unexpected one.
Stupid conversations make sense when you’re talking to someone special. God, I guess theres someone who keep shouting this statement in my head. I must be crazy. Actually I’m not the type of person who easily amazed by things. So it’s way too shocking for me.
Well I think I have to say this to myself. Maybe stupid conversations make sense when you’re talking to someone special, but you don’t really know what special means here. Maybe it’s not special the way people in love think, maybe special means that the person is really good in leading conversation. That’s what attract me so. I guess I start loving people who leads conversation well, cause actually I’m not one.
Because when you build a conversation with someone else, that’s how you assess each other.
Convenient or not, that’s what lead you to conclude the convos makes sense or not.

February 3, 2012

Favorites: Domino

 I’m falling into something real and I can’t stop me 
I’m knocking over everything and you just caught me 
From start to finish I promise I’m in this 
Just wanna let you know, yo
I’m falling like a domino
 That’s part of Domino lyrics by Brian Joo. Actually, I never really pay much attention to his music but this song really took my heart. I love the lyrics, the way he tell us his feeling towards this song is totally romantic. Well, I love romantic guy but it feels different. Maybe thousand people outside saying that they might fallin in love just by one song. And I do too. But this song is really, idk, different? Feels like the guy is totally begging for the girl’s love. Never stop promising that he will never ever leave her. Many girls would fall for this words. I commonly not that easy to fall for words but this time I do.
Falling like a domino.You know domino? When the 1st one fell down, it fell upon the next one, and next, and next, till the end of dominos. It cant be stopped till it’s really reaching the end point. Falling in love like domino totally means soooo deep. You start fall for a girl, then you really cant stop yourself to fall for her till the end of time. You just keep falling, don’t care what will happen with you, don’t care what obstacles that you might face, don’t care as long as you fall for the same heart. Isn’t it romantic?
Brian Joo is really brilliant musician. This song is great, with his voice it becomes stronger and deeper. You can’t stop yourself to not loving him just by listening to his voice. If you curious about it, try to listening to this song, try the other songs too, Let This Die, for example, will make you crying all night long. The meaning inside the song let this die is way too deep, even you’ll feel like you lose your heart. Too much ya, ha ha ha
Well, Domino. I guess it’'ll be one of my favorite word from now on. Then when people asked what type of guy you want to marry, I’ll just say like a domino.
Once it falls down, it can’t be stopped, keep falling part by part, always stick forever, till the end point, till it’s time to let it stopped by.

January 22, 2012

Personal Writing: Lessons Learned from We Got Married

Lately I’m busy in downloading some episodes of a South Korean variety show: We Got Married.
Well its kinda show where two people, a man and a woman be a couple and live several months together as “married” couple. Every week they’ll get missions to be completed and through this they’ll get closer each other. I love this show totally because, well, theyre sometimes being such a fool and cute and shy when they have to do everything together like a married couple. There are some lessons too that people can get by watching this variety show. It is like how to praise or treat each other as a couple.
Seeing them on this variety show makes me thinking that being a couple (not yet a married one) is really difficult. It’s not like, you just need to act good to them or such, it’s more than that. It’s about how to decrease your ego facing problem that come between you two, because it’s like a two handed-glass, you need the others’ hand to hold the glass while you hold the other side.
By now, I love my thought about it’s better if people doing this variety show before they become a real couple. Because there are so many things that have to be learned. And sometimes learning is become easier if you use the fake situation, isn’t it?